Category Archives: partners

A Letter I Want to Have Always

 

tagami gallery

One of my student’s gave me this letter a few days before her graduation this past May. I read it often and wanted to post it here while I’m traveling. I didn’t want to lose it:

“…I know how you feel because I have also lost someone very close to my heart: my dad. I know it’s not entirely the same but the pain hurts just as much. Over time, if feels like you just get used to it. However, it is important to always keep your mind and heart open. Do not shy away from new experiences. There is still a life that has yet to be fulfilled. You are like a second mom to me, and I can’t thank you enough for all you have done. I’m going to miss you very much, but I will always carry your wisdom with me.”

Love, T.

(She included a poem by Karen Owusu.)

Note 2 Self

You must learn
to carry yourself gently
You must learn
to love yourself.
You must learn
to be bold.
You must always
remember that
you are enough.
You are beautiful.
You are different.
You are not a fragment
a burnt flower.
You must water your flowers.
You must learn from your roots.
You must learn
to blossom beautifully.
You must learn
to create space.
Make room in your heart
for yourself.

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Morning/Mourning Prayers

 

IMG_3866

I’m not Jewish, but I find holding on to traditions/rituals comforting. I noticed that some white people find comfort in Japanese/Asian rituals. Perhaps it’s a way of associating death as a foreign concept. I don’t know.

I look for answers on Google for where my Lover could possibly be. Sometimes Google’s not dependable.

Except one article in the NYT mentioned a study on complicated grief:

when patients with complicated grief looked at pictures of their loved ones, the nucleus accumbens — the part of the brain associated with rewards or longing — lighted up. It showed significantly less activity in people who experienced more normal patterns of grieving.

“It’s as if the brain were saying, ‘Yes I’m anticipating seeing this person’ and yet ‘I am not getting to see this person,’ ” Dr. O’Connor said. “The mismatch is very painful.”

This mismatch. This pain. This I know.

Here and Now

UntenableSituation

 

 

The Window or the Mirror: How Do You Write?

Spitting Caves, O'ahu

 

 

 

 

Do your stats or likes influence the nature of your next post?

I was still ruminating over yesterday’s interview with artist Stuart Breidenstein. We had a great discussion on describing the artist’s life: creating art to fill orders, creating pieces to fill the store, finally creating art he’s interested and currently passionate about.

So my partner and I discussed the whole balancing act and then he brought up the idea that all artist (writers, jewelry designers, painters, musicians) have to make a choice: “Do I create what I want to create?” or “Do I create what I think others will like?”

My partner used the analogy of the window as art which allows insight to the artist’s soul and passions, independent of outside criticism. He suggested the mirror is a type of art which the artist creates so people will see themselves in it and like.

Since I’ve re-entered the bloggers’ world, I have to decide every day. Should I post things that I have a need to create and share? But what if I have no followers, no likes. Or should I post things I know my fellow bloggers would like? Creative versus commercialized art.

Is there a happy medium?