It’s been four years since we’ve become a blended family; it’s been four days since the “wives” sat down with a few bottles of champagne to celebrate one of our kids high school graduation.
True, I admit. I would avoid answering the phone when the caller ID showed her number. I would hang back to say hi from afar when we stopped by to pick up the kids. But there’s something about sharing in the joy of a child’s accomplishment (as well as sharing in the frustrations of a child’s lack of motivation), that breaks down walls which were probably self-induced in my own head.
I don’t think today’s exes carry the stigma they once did.
HER #1: If anyone would have told me 5 years ago that you and I would be sitting in my car going to the supermarket, I would have said, “Yeah, right!”
Graduation Student #34: I want to thank both my moms, my brother and my friends for supporting me these 18 years.
Graduation Student # 52: To mom…..to Steve…..To Daddy….to Stephanie, I’m so thankful you chose to join and be a part of this insane family.
HER #1: Cranberry Light and vodka? For Cosmos? That’s my favorite, too. You and I are a lot alike!
HIM: I think she really likes you, too. I think she likes you in the same way I like her new boyfriend. He’s just a really nice guy, and he looks out for the kids.
Daughter #2: Hi! I want to introduce you to my dad’s girlfriend….
HER #2: For some reason, it helped my kids to have one non-parent they could confide in, who then would inform me of what they were feeling. It’s just nice to have help when it comes to raising kids.
HIM: I think the more the kids to see all of us together getting along, the easier it is for them. That way they won’t feel a need to pick a side, to be loyal to only one side.
I could sit here and ponder whether we should have crossed this bridge earlier, whether it might have made a better impact on the kids sooner, but perhaps the bridge simply wasn’t finished being built then. It’s got great potential views looking from this side now.