Bear and Booby and the Hero Child

Bear and Booby are making their way through the winding streets of Augusta, where clinking of glasses and raised voices can be heard in the surrounding pubs.

BEAR (following Booby): What do you mean by “You’re not that special.” That’s a horrible, hurtful thing to say.

BOOBY (partially overlooking her shoulder and moving evasively past yet another pub entrance):  I didn’t mean it to be hurtful. Everyone has bones in their backgrounds they’ve overcome. You’re not that special.

BEAR: But overcoming brainwashing, breaking out of the circuit, and going cold-monkey on reinforcement eating, doesn’t overcoming those pathetic addictions in my life make me special?


BEAR: (stops walking). No?

BOOBY: Haven’t you heard of the Hero….

(BOOBY realizes BEAR is no longer following her, retreats a few steps toward BEAR).

BOOBY: Haven’t you heard of the Hero Child?

BEAR: (slowly shakes his head left and right)

BOOBY: The Hero Child is everyone’s first born. He or She does, gets everything right, feels entitled to every offer by the world. The child arrives at a perfect time in a union to save it, help it move forward, thus high powered microscopic focus is favored upon this Hero Child.

BEAR: What does THAT have to do with me?

BOOBY:  Nothing. You’re not the Hero Child.

BEAR: (looking absolutely dumbfounded and ready to cry) Oh.

BOOBY: I’m telling you this because you’re not the first child. You’re the second born, therefore the Rebel Child.

BEAR: (looking absolutely dumbfounded and ready to cry again)

BOOBY: (scratching her head, inhaling a deep breath of patience) The Rebel Child is predisposed to bio, social, and psychological characteristics which make them, ergo YOU, more susceptible to falling victims to addictions, drugs, eating disorders, and everything else you survived. Get it?

BEAR: You mean a LOT of second borns have gone through what I’ve gone through?

BOOBY: (gently grabbing BEAR’s arm, moving torward to the end of the street) Yes, maybe not exactly what you’ve survived, but statistically yes. Second borns
have a higher tendency to get caught up in things like that.

BEAR: So all this time, I’ve been a living statistic? Every horrible challenge I faced could have been avoided if only I knew about this birth order rules or guidelines or whatever you call them?

BOOBY:  Probably. Maybe. Maybe not.

BEAR: (Pulls BOOBY to a halt) Wait. How do you know this?

BOOBY: It’s on the Internet.

BEAR: What’s that?

BOOBY: (turns, heads down another street while talking over her shoulder) Well, I don’t know exactly, but it’s like how we passed the temple yesterday and saw many praying for good fortune and seeking guidance?

BEAR: (continues walking) Uhm, yeah.

BOOBY:  It’s like that, but not on your knees.


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